"It's something every other week with you."
Those are the words my ex carelessly used after I had built up the courage and expressed to him that we hadn't been having as much sex lately and that he seemed distant, especially when he wouldn't even hug or kiss me when he got home from work!
I now realize he was gaslighting me about my basic needs.
Yes, it was something every other week! Something that he was saying or doing that I was not willing to put up with, so naturally I thought it was fair that I communicated my boundaries, needs and desires because what may seem obvious to me, may not have been to him. To me, I was doing the healthy, adult thing: communicating instead of letting things build up, ignoring them and becoming bitter and resentful. I was doing the right thing, and got mocked for it. As if he was saying "You communicate too much. Silence yourself for me because after all, ignorance is bliss."
Just a heads up, If you partner is bringing something to you "every other week" you may want to sit down and have a discussion about it, instead of using fighting words that she can then use as blog material 2 years later.
To this day, I don't know if he really wanted to be in that relationship or if he just didn't have the courage to break it off. I ended up moving out of his house while he was at work one day. Long story short his exact words were "If you're going to act like that then you can get the fuck out of my house!" You're probably wondering "What did she say to get that kind of reaction!?" My exact words were "You've been working a lot lately." In a very normal, calm tone. Honestly, I can't remember which one of us hung up the phone first because he would frequently get mad, hang up and then call me back 10 minutes later to apologize. But I think it may have been me, because at that very moment, I was done. I was completely moved out before he got home. Be careful what you wish for.