MASTURBATING!




I've said it before and I'll say it again, we are all born sexual beings! We start exploring our bodies as soon as we discover we have hands, legs and that something in between them can make us feel really good, our genitals!

From the time we are young, more often than not, our body exploration will be turned upside-down by a flustered adult that will immediately panic at the sight of a young person discovering their genitals and say something like "DON'T TOUCH YOUR PRIVATES!" or "GET YOUR HAND OUT OF YOUR PANTS." There are many reasons parents or caregivers respond this way, ranging from lack of education, their own unresolved issues with sex, or even just being embarrassed when it comes to talking about the topic. Though it's not helpful in raising sexually healthy beings, It's not uncommon if the reaction is "STOP!" rather than something that doesn't make the child feel ashamed or confused for being curious about their body.

Just because it's a common reaction doesnt mean its the right reaction. When it comes to tiny humans what they can comprehend is pretty simple, something is either good or bad. The child may poke or rub their genitals which can feel soothing or good but as soon as we catch them doing it we automatically default to making them feel bad about it. So, before humans (aka sexual beings) even know what masturbating is we are programmed to feel ashamed, guilty or bad for doing something that feels GOOD!

*If you would like to learn more about sex positive, shame-free ways to talk to your children about their bodies and sex sexpositivefamilies.com is a great resource!*




WISDOM - ADVICE - PERSPECTIVE

for MASTURBATING!


WISDOM

Masturbation is healthy, pleasurable and completely normal regardless of your relationship status or how much sex you may or may not be having.

ADVICE

You may be someone that is confident and comfortable when it comes to jacking (or jilling) off. You could be a person that has never tried masturbating before or maybe you fall somewhere in the middle. Whatever the case may be, I encourage you to touch yourself! Ever since the pandemic began we are living in a time where it is bad to touch your face and encouraged to touch your genitals! When lockdown started sex toy sales skyrocketed all over the world and PornHub even gave out free premium memberships to encourage people to stay home and flatten the curve #stayhomehub.

Here's what the British Columbia Centre for Disease Control had to say about masturbating:


"You are your safest sex partner. Masturbating by yourself (solo sex) will not spread COVID-19. If you masturbate with a partner(s), physical distancing will lower your chance of getting COVID-19."

That reminds me, mutual masturbation is also a great & super sexy activity to do with your partner(s)! If you aren't able to be in the same household, time zone or even the same country as your lover during the pandemic due to travel bans, guidelines, other ever-changing restrictions, or just because of life in general, you can still spice up your nightly selfcare routine together! This can be done by using amazing technology called Teledildonics (aka cyberdildonics) there are quite a few interactive long distance sex toys you can use together (while you're apart) by connecting them to apps so you can maximize solo pleasure when partnered rendezvous aren't an option.

PERSPECTIVE

There are lots of reasons people masturbate, not that you need one. There is no need to feel threatened by masturbation. Nothing bad will happen if you play with yourself. Ok, if I'm being honest... I have had some masturbation related injuries. But what I mean is, the sky won't fall, your partner won't leave you for a piece of vibrating silicone and you definitely won't go blind from masturbating. As the BCCDC said "you are your safest sex partner" and the longest sexual relationship you will have is the one with yourself! Some people may see their partner's sexual self care routine as a threat to their shared sexual interactions but it can actually play a big role in a more satisfying sex life. When you masturbate you experience pleasure, when you experience pleasure your brain lights up and looks forward to more of it. So by making self pleasure a priority you could experience an increased libido as a result!

*If you find that masturbation is disrupting your day to day life and negatively impacting your career, relationships or even your bank account, I would suggest seeking help from a sex positive therapist or professional.*


PORN

The good: Like sex toys, I believe porn is a great tool! Pornography is a safe way to explore new types of sex without having to dive into them head first. Some folks watch porn on their own time or together as a couple, some people don't watch it at all. Whatever your choice may be, it is your choice and whatever your partners choice may be, it is their choice. It's understandable and common that some people may feel distraught when they discover their significant other is watching porn but porn is not the problem,our attitudes around porn is the problem. Like I said before, there is no need to feel threatened by masturbation. Some people find themselves conflicted when the people in the videos their partner is watching don't look anything like them or they might be alarmed when they see what comes up on their partners search history. If you feel these feelings coming up just remember that porn is a tool and not an imminent threat. The not so good: Kids as young as 9 years old are viewing porn! Porn is often the first, only, and not to mention inaccurate form of sex education minors are getting. This is problematic and leads to unrealistic views of sex, bodies, and how sexual interactions should go. Young people are being taught that anal sex should just happen at the drop of a hat without any mention of consent, negotiation or conversations about boundaries.Not to mention that the porn they are viewing is most likely not healthy or ethically sourced content.


*If you are an adult who enjoys porn I encourage you to educate yourself about ethically sourced pornography and how you can directly support your favourite adult content creators and why it is important to do so.*

WISDOM

Sex starts with yourself and you're allowed to indulge in pleasure as much as you'd like! P.s, I have never compared a sex toy to a partner. If you're interested and able to invest in your pleasure there are many different websites (and reviews) you can browse to find the items that will bring you the most pleasure. *I live in Canada and order from www.pinkcherry.com the billing and shipping are very discreet and they have a great rewards program!*

ADVICE

There are multiple things to consider when purchasing sex toys:

  • Budget - What is your budget and where can you get the best value for your money?

  • Type of toy - What brings you pleasure and how would you like to experience pleasure? Would you like a clit vibe you can use in the bathtub or are you looking for a double penetration dildo you can suction to the wall? Maybe you're searching for a stroker or a cock ring/ prostate plug combo. Spend some time online and start looking at different toys and reviews to get an idea of what toy(s) will be the most pleasurable for you!

  • Sound - for toys that vibrate, thrust or do other fun things I like to try and figure out how loud they are before I purchase them. If you live alone this probably won't be an issue but I do not have that luxury and there's nothing worse than having a new sex toy arrive and discovering you cant even use it until you have the place to yourself!

  • Material - The FDA does not regulate sex toys. This means that some toys contain harmful chemicals such as phthalates and other hazardous material. If you are using sex toys that are made out of things other than body safe materials such as Medical-grade silicone, borosilicate glass, and stainless steel it is a good idea to use a barrier such as a condom with the toy, thoroughly clean after each use and replace them often and keep them stored separately from other toys.

  • Extras -Make sure that you have a lube that is compatible with the material of your toy/condoms! You may also want to purchase a toy cleaner which is good for occasional use in between washes.

  • Shipping - If you are looking for discreet shipping, I would recommend buying from your country of origin so it doesn't have to go through customs where things like this can happen..

*I could do a whole blog on sex toys which I will be doing in the future, for now i have left you with some tidbits of advice on materials and lubes and that you can research further at your leisure!*

PERSPECTIVE

Masturbating is a normal and healthy part of being a sexual being and sex toys are exactly that, toys! They aren't meant to make people feel inadequate or ashamed that they can't make someone cum with only their fingers, tongue, hand or whatever else they are trying to please you with, although the results can be quite amazing when you pair those things with a good vibe or butt plug! I like to compare sex toys to gaming console:. They're fun and you can spend hours playing alone with them but it's also exciting to share them with someone! Whether you buy an extra controller or set up xbox live, the game does not replace your friend(s). Remember, you deserve pleasure and there are many ways to experience it with or without another person!









How will you use your WAP the next time you masturbate?



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