Updated: Aug 28, 2020
From the time we are young we are told "When a man and a woman are in love, they have a baby."
Depending on who gets the pleasure of painting us this picture perfect situation they may or may not include explaining sex. So, many times when we start learning about sex it is ingrained in our minds that in order to have it you must be in love.We hear these types of sayings/rules over and over again. Whether its from: TV/movies, our parents, or religious views, we are brought up being told the fairytale of sex.
I'm a hopeless romantic, I love a good fairytale! What I don't love is the mass amount of guilt I feel when I have a sexual encounter with someone that I'm not in a relationship with, because I have been programmed to believe sex is reserved solely for those in love. The guilt and shame didn't only stem from the "fairytale" concept. It also came from years of being slut shamed, bullied, used and taken advantage of, but that's a blog for another time.
Currently I am working to overcome these negative feelings and ways of thinking about sex. My goal is to allow myself to feel empowered to have sex even if it's not with my "prince charming." I will learn healthy ways to incorporate sex into my life without guilt or shame immediately following. Man, I really wish Cinderella was more of a slut.
For anyone who has had a similar experience, I'll leave you with this:
You do not have to be in love to have sex.
If you want random hookups, friends with benefits, or to have sexual experiences to explore and learn what you like, or simply have sex because you are horny....YOU CAN!